Yes, Mt. St. Elena is going to erupt in about 3...2...1.....
For the love of Oden, get your final affairs in order, people!!!
A child- even as an adult should NOT have to shoulder the burden of making all the decisions about what you might have wanted done in the event of your death. Nor should they have to shoulder the financial burden of it either.
My daughter and son just watched their biological father pass away. They haven't had a smooth relationship in their lifetimes, but then again- who has?
But those kids have been there for their father. He's been in poor health for years now- 17 to be exact- and by refusing to do what the doctor ordered and by making some REALLY bad decisions in his life, he had compounded the problem and probably brought on a much earlier death than he would have if he had made better decisions.
My son tried to take on his fathers care last year, but it became obvious that he couldn't handle the burdens of taking care of his father, and working, and trying to stay on the straight and narrow himself. He has been battling an addiction problem himself and is finally back on track with his life after a long hard battle. My daughter already was carer for her fiance's father and with 5 children in that household was bursting at the seams, so she was also unable to take proper care of her father. So with neither of the kids able to take care of him- he went into a nursing facility for proper care.
And he's been there for about six months or a bit over now, I think.
So about a week ago- my daughter got a call from the nursing home. They requested that she and her brother come in to discuss final arrangements for their dad. So they went in the next day.
It was clear that he wasn't going to be with them much longer and they were shocked that he had went downhill as badly as he had since they last saw him.
They talked to him and he requested that he be cremated....told them where and everything. Didn't want a fancy expensive funeral- just a bonfire memorial service. My daughter is vehemently against cremation. But she wanted to grant her father his last wishes so she and my son agreed to it.
He wanted to smoke a doobie before he passed- which he knew was an impossible request. He requested one of his old band members to come play for him one last time, but sadly, the fellow is ill himself and wasn't able to make it.
His final request was to have his kids with him when he passed so he didn't die alone. And that they gladly did for him.
Now that he's passed, his sisters have jumped in and told the DON that they wanted to use the local(for them) funeral home for the cremation. They also wanted to have a big service with his photos plastered all over the place and flowers everywhere. My daughter told them that's NOT what he wanted at all. But they insisted. So rather than cause major drama and make everything more traumatic she and my son gave in to the funeral home. After all- they were his sisters and my kids thought they should have a say in the arrangements as well as them.
Then yesterday they went in to sign the papers- and his sisters went absolutely crazy. Where what their dad had wanted would have cost $700 for the cremation and whatever the cost of the bonfire memorial night was, the sisters had run up a huge $3000 of expenses.
Now keep in mind, both the kids are barely keeping their heads above water themselves with everything else in their lives, and they had concerns not only about that but also about their fathers last wishes.
But they put their heads together and were working on a couple of ideas to find the funds to get it taken care of.
Then the sisters took care of the expenses....and proceeded to start HUGE drama rubbing my kids nose in the fact that they (The Sisters) had taken care of it ALL and then started carrying on about how my kids never did anything for their dad and never had anything to do with him their entire lives blah, blah, blah........
Now this trash talk was coming from these two sisters....one of whom took her brother into her home and took his entire checks for "expenses" and then when he was broke told him to find somewhere else to live because she couldn't handle it-(and this was BEFORE my son tried to deal with his care- before it got REALLY bad!).....and the OTHER sister completely went off the rails when HER father died and she ran off- just disappeared leaving her husband(who absolutely worshipped the ground she walked on) and her small sons (under school age) because "if I have to live without my daddy, those kids can get along without their mama just fine). And she stayed gone until fairly recently. I'm talking gone for like 15 YEARS gone.
They made my kids feel like absolute less than nothing just because they couldn't pay for the spectacle of a funeral service that their dad didn't even want.
What kind of people DO that to someones kids who are grieving the loss of their parent the day before?
I am absolutely livid that these white trash idiots have done this to my children. It's most certainly not their fault that their father made bad choices in his life that affected them all. He's known this was going to be the end result- so why didn't HE take care of arrangements like any sane responsible caring parent would have done to spare their children this heartache?
I'm livid. I'm pissed at him for not being the father he should have been, I'm pissed at his sisters for acting the way they have been- especially the oldest of them...... the youngest tried to compromise but then became a drama queen about having the ashes in her house. My daughter offered to keep the ashes until they decided what to do with them, and the elder sister refused point blank-then when my daughter and son offered to pick the ashes up and bring them to the sister because she had a work conflict with the timing she said no again..... said they "might never see the ashes again if she did that."
What the ever loving FUCK is wrong with these people?
I can understand them wanting to give their brother a service they wanted to celebrate his memory- but surely if my kids, as the next of kin were willing to compromise, they could have also taken the kids feelings into account? And more than anything, it wasn't what their dad asked of them for his service.
It's a damn good thing I'm not there because I would be up there throat punching the wicked witches for making my kids feel so low.
Trashy assed people make me want to stab a fool. This isn't about them and their "standing in the community"...it's about my kids trying to do the right thing and being made to feel like shit because of it.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
