This hasn't been the most wonderful of times for this Goddess.
A series of events has transpired to make this a hell on earth. Firstly, My mortal body is giving me problems- the heart especially. It is beating in rapid beats for a period of time- then skipping beats - recently until I actually blacked out.
I saw a physician and they are working to fix that problem.
Also- my medications have been changed in the past two months- and it has wreaked havoc with my human emotions. I'm crying almost daily, I get irrationally annoyed and sometimes even enraged at the slightest thing. I get my feeling hurt- over things that I laughed at two hours before. My poor MM doesn't know which way to turn and I dont either in all honesty.
I've felt like I shouldn't inflict myself on him and maybe I should just go back to the states- but I cant bring myself to do that. I know it would hurt him and I dont think I could live without him. He is my rock, my heart, and my breath.
So what's a Goddess to do?
This Goddess has a plan. I can put these unfortunate incidents to good use. The rage and annoyance I can put to going out for a walk/run/jog in the local area. I will have to be careful and remember to take my phone with me in case I have an incident and he needs to be notified, but I can make this work. I will let the doctors advise me on the heart condition, but the medications are something Im going to insist on them getting sorted as soon as possible.
I need to find a hobby- and I need to find a friend to spend some time with besides my poor MM. I would rather spend time with him- and I would hope he would want to spend time with me- but if he is as irritated with me as I am with me- then it's best I make myself a bit more scarce. I'm thinking of the old axiom Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.
Speaking of- I DESPISE my job. I'm going to get my resume sorted and I'm going to change jobs- as soon as possible- but no later than the end of the year.
And I'm going to get on with looking for us a new house. I'm ready for my forever house. I'm sick of the flat that I cant decorate the way I want to.
The car is sorted- I just need to get ME sorted and figure out how best to go about making me happy again.
If I dont like myself like this- I can hardly expect anyone else to like me as Miserable Molly either, now can I?
