I Am Goddess.

Okay, so it's been a while.  A good few weeks.

I'm still working towards my weight loss goals.

I had a long few months of problems....Knee injuries,  a tumble down stairs,  stomach issues and a constant headache for months.  I've had tests and more tests and more tests and hopefully most of the issues have been settled in one way or another.

So all thru this I've still been eating thoughtfully....not totally healthfully, mind you, but mindful of how often I have treaty type things and how often I eat healthy food. Trying mostly to follow the 80/20 Plan.  It's kept me maintaining my weight, mostly, but not so much helping me along my journey to weight LOSS.

Hubby and I have been on holiday for the past 8 days and have two more days off too, so I've been able to both get back in the swing of cooking and eating healthily and at the same time having a treat now and again....and when we come off holiday Tuesday morning it will be back to a stricter regime.

I've been doing my workouts in front of the TV while hubby does his recording and live-streams for his YouTube and Twitch channels, and today- when I reached the 44 second mark on my plank....one second off from my goal..... My elbows just wouldn't let me go any further. I realized then I needed a bit more softness to go any further in my workouts....some of which require elbow and knee work and on a hardwood floor that just won't be happening.
So I went online, did some research and asked hubby to order me a 15mm thickness yoga mat on his Amazon Prime account so I can have it tomorrow. No fuss, no muss.

I'm also going to be eating salads from our local  cafe near work....One, I get a workout ie walk albeit a short one- and two I'll be eating healthily and not be tempted by all the yummy things at the supermarket... ie the Krispy Kreme display box at the entrance AND exit of it. Damn them all.

Especially when this week they're coming out with a Nutella glazed one. Again....damn them.

Krispy Kremes are my absolute downfall. I can sit and eat a dozen....or two. That started when I was expecting my first son. My ex would disappear all weekend( starting of Friday nights) and my neighbor would come over and keep me company while he was gone. First thing on Friday evenings we would get in her car and go to the donuts shop and buy a dozen plain glazed....a dozen blueberry filled, lemon filled and custard filled... and another dozen bear claws, cinnamon buns and Cinnamon twister sticks.

We'd get all the gubbins for burgers and hotdogs and we would swim in our pool and shoot pool and watch movies all weekend when it was rainy out.
She made the loveliest hot dogs too- okay, I'm stopping that.

Anyway, so yes- We're back on the wagon again. And since my goal is 1 lb a week loss I can easily do that.
I will not be defeated by my weaker inner self. I am stronger than that. I can and WILL conquer.

Goddess Goals.

*I can't wait to be able to walk in heels again without fear of breaking my ankles with my weight.

*I can't wait to wear my 50's style wiggle dresses...or what's now called a Body-Con dress.

*I cant wait to have my mere mortal look at me with appreciation . He's NEVER seen me at my ideal weight and I think he will be quite pleased.

* I can't wait to be able to go for a walk or a jog or a run and my joints not throb.

* I cant wait to see the little rolls go away.

* I can't wait to wear all my lingerie again. The suspenders and little satin and silk and lacy things.

* I can't wait to be able to go into a shop and buy new jeans and look at myself in the mirror and not cry.

* I cant wait to see my bit of a double chin disappear....completely.

*I cant wait to be able to wear a top that might or might not show a bit of tummy and back and not make me cringe.

* I cant wait to be able to get up from a chair or the bed without it feeling like I'm lugging a body out of the quicksand.

*I cant wait to be able to feel like I'm stunning again.

*I cant wait o be able to cuddle up with my Mere Mortal or to sit in his lap for more than 15 seconds without feeling like I'm going to break his legs.

*also I cant wait to have my Mere Mortal pick me up and carry me without being afraid he's going to throw his back out.

*I cant wait to wear Mere Mortals dress shirt and nothing else....and feel good about it.

* I cant wait to buy the new leather outfit my Mere Mortal has promised me when I reach my goal weight.

*I cant wait to buy a swimsuit that I dont have to be ashamed to be seen in without having a Mumu on top of it.

I can't wait.

A Gentle Reminder

Goddesses do not give up. They persevere. They set their sights on a goal and they battle their way to it. If they are knocked down...they shake it off, get back up, take up the battle ax and start swinging again as they fight their way up the mountain.

That pretty much sums up my life for the past few months.

I have a problem....I fight it. I fall down. I shake it off. I get my ass back up- and I fight the fight again.

Til the next  next problem comes along. Shampoo, rinse, condition, rinse....repeat.

Weight Loss....Homesickness....Headaches that are constant....old injuries that interfere with my activity for weight loss..... My son and dad's passing......By daughters housing problems....My other son's problems......... my mother's downhill slide into Alzheimer's........my loneliness and the desperate need for human touch. 

It's a vicious circle that just keeps on attacking from a different angle every time hoping to bring me completely down and out.  But I keep getting back up.

Because it's what Goddesses do.
We hold the power. We hold the key in ourselves. 
We do not give up. We may have to sit a spell and regroup- but we do not give up.
We battle on.
and ultimately.....
In the end....
We Are Victorious.