Yes, Mt. St. Elena is going to erupt in about 3...2...1.....
For the love of Oden, get your final affairs in order, people!!!
A child- even as an adult should NOT have to shoulder the burden of making all the decisions about what you might have wanted done in the event of your death. Nor should they have to shoulder the financial burden of it either.
My daughter and son just watched their biological father pass away. They haven't had a smooth relationship in their lifetimes, but then again- who has?
But those kids have been there for their father. He's been in poor health for years now- 17 to be exact- and by refusing to do what the doctor ordered and by making some REALLY bad decisions in his life, he had compounded the problem and probably brought on a much earlier death than he would have if he had made better decisions.
My son tried to take on his fathers care last year, but it became obvious that he couldn't handle the burdens of taking care of his father, and working, and trying to stay on the straight and narrow himself. He has been battling an addiction problem himself and is finally back on track with his life after a long hard battle. My daughter already was carer for her fiance's father and with 5 children in that household was bursting at the seams, so she was also unable to take proper care of her father. So with neither of the kids able to take care of him- he went into a nursing facility for proper care.
And he's been there for about six months or a bit over now, I think.
So about a week ago- my daughter got a call from the nursing home. They requested that she and her brother come in to discuss final arrangements for their dad. So they went in the next day.
It was clear that he wasn't going to be with them much longer and they were shocked that he had went downhill as badly as he had since they last saw him.
They talked to him and he requested that he be cremated....told them where and everything. Didn't want a fancy expensive funeral- just a bonfire memorial service. My daughter is vehemently against cremation. But she wanted to grant her father his last wishes so she and my son agreed to it.
He wanted to smoke a doobie before he passed- which he knew was an impossible request. He requested one of his old band members to come play for him one last time, but sadly, the fellow is ill himself and wasn't able to make it.
His final request was to have his kids with him when he passed so he didn't die alone. And that they gladly did for him.
Now that he's passed, his sisters have jumped in and told the DON that they wanted to use the local(for them) funeral home for the cremation. They also wanted to have a big service with his photos plastered all over the place and flowers everywhere. My daughter told them that's NOT what he wanted at all. But they insisted. So rather than cause major drama and make everything more traumatic she and my son gave in to the funeral home. After all- they were his sisters and my kids thought they should have a say in the arrangements as well as them.
Then yesterday they went in to sign the papers- and his sisters went absolutely crazy. Where what their dad had wanted would have cost $700 for the cremation and whatever the cost of the bonfire memorial night was, the sisters had run up a huge $3000 of expenses.
Now keep in mind, both the kids are barely keeping their heads above water themselves with everything else in their lives, and they had concerns not only about that but also about their fathers last wishes.
But they put their heads together and were working on a couple of ideas to find the funds to get it taken care of.
Then the sisters took care of the expenses....and proceeded to start HUGE drama rubbing my kids nose in the fact that they (The Sisters) had taken care of it ALL and then started carrying on about how my kids never did anything for their dad and never had anything to do with him their entire lives blah, blah, blah........
Now this trash talk was coming from these two sisters....one of whom took her brother into her home and took his entire checks for "expenses" and then when he was broke told him to find somewhere else to live because she couldn't handle it-(and this was BEFORE my son tried to deal with his care- before it got REALLY bad!).....and the OTHER sister completely went off the rails when HER father died and she ran off- just disappeared leaving her husband(who absolutely worshipped the ground she walked on) and her small sons (under school age) because "if I have to live without my daddy, those kids can get along without their mama just fine). And she stayed gone until fairly recently. I'm talking gone for like 15 YEARS gone.
They made my kids feel like absolute less than nothing just because they couldn't pay for the spectacle of a funeral service that their dad didn't even want.
What kind of people DO that to someones kids who are grieving the loss of their parent the day before?
I am absolutely livid that these white trash idiots have done this to my children. It's most certainly not their fault that their father made bad choices in his life that affected them all. He's known this was going to be the end result- so why didn't HE take care of arrangements like any sane responsible caring parent would have done to spare their children this heartache?
I'm livid. I'm pissed at him for not being the father he should have been, I'm pissed at his sisters for acting the way they have been- especially the oldest of them...... the youngest tried to compromise but then became a drama queen about having the ashes in her house. My daughter offered to keep the ashes until they decided what to do with them, and the elder sister refused point blank-then when my daughter and son offered to pick the ashes up and bring them to the sister because she had a work conflict with the timing she said no again..... said they "might never see the ashes again if she did that."
What the ever loving FUCK is wrong with these people?
I can understand them wanting to give their brother a service they wanted to celebrate his memory- but surely if my kids, as the next of kin were willing to compromise, they could have also taken the kids feelings into account? And more than anything, it wasn't what their dad asked of them for his service.
It's a damn good thing I'm not there because I would be up there throat punching the wicked witches for making my kids feel so low.
Trashy assed people make me want to stab a fool. This isn't about them and their "standing in the community"...it's about my kids trying to do the right thing and being made to feel like shit because of it.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday 15 September 2015
Sunday 2 August 2015
Last- but not Least.....
It's been a LONG time since I posted here.
It's been a whirlwind of activity here in Valhalla and I honestly just haven't had the heart to write much.
Ive been in and out of the hospital for various tests.....some results good- some not so good- all the while trying to get back on track and find a happy median.....
On the upside- I'm losing weight....slowly but surely.....I'm sleeping better(ish) I still have my bad nights but at least now they are interspersed with good nights occasionally.
I'm struggling tho with a couple of things. This is going to sound very UNGODDESSlike, but I,m struggling in my relationships department. I miss the friendships I had back home terribly.
I ALWAYS had someone to talk to, someone to go and spend an hour or two- or a day- with. It was a very "Hey, I got a couple hours- wanna go shopping or just sit on the porch and have a bit of a chat?" kind of environment.
I didn't have to worry about making an appointment to see someone, we all just dropped by and if they had something planned at least I got to see them long enough for a hug and a promise to see each other again soon...and then know it was gonna happen. I don't have a huge circle of friends and loved ones here to talk to and do things with when everyone else is busy and I feel alone. And right now I feel as tho I'm being put at the end of every ones list. I'm wondering if it's something I've said- or did- but seeing as I rarely see anyone anyway, I think that's highly unlikely.
Making new friends as an adult is difficult. I've never had a LOT of people I trusted until about 15 years ago. I had been hurt so many times by people(always females) I THOUGHT were my friends I didn't trust anyone and stayed in my shell. And then- as if by magic- I happened into a time of life where I had a overflowing handful of people that weren't relatives that were really good people and who I grew to love and trust as Chosen Sisters. (I'm still not very comfortable with having guys for friends after a few incidents when I was in my late teens and early twenties- and if I do consider you a friend and you are a guy- you should feel DAMN privileged cause there are less than the fingers on one hand I feel that way about.)
So I got used to having them to chat with and do things with, and there was (and is) always my Daughter and Blood Sisters and sometimes my mom.
Now I just feel out of sorts and alone and I don't like it. It feels horrible and altho I've tried to make a few new friends, truth be told I'm picky about who I spend my precious time with and there aren't THAT many people I WANT to spend my time with. They mostly seem to damn fickle and flighty and ....well...... either tend to be boring or they are just too trashy for words and I have more respect for myself and my life than to waste time with people like that. I prefer to enjoy my time in the company of lovely, positive people who care.
Maybe it's my own fault for wanting wonderful friends. Maybe if I could lower my standards a bit I would be able to find more friends.....but if I did- wouldnt that just make my life miserable becuase I wasnt being true to myself and what I want out of- and IN- my life?
I dont want to compromise- or settle for less anymore. I've dont that before and it only ended in misery for me.
Why is it so difficult to make friends as an adult? As a child- you just walk up to someone- start talking and play together and that's it- you're friends. As an adult, it's rare to have it happen that way. There's so many things going on in each of our lives we just cant find time to cultivate new friendships.
And it's sad.
Ah well, enough being a crybaby about being lonely and such. It's on to other things. Like Laundry- and cooking Sunday dinner.
Things will work themselves out- they always do- somehow-someway.
I Am Goddess.
It's been a whirlwind of activity here in Valhalla and I honestly just haven't had the heart to write much.
Ive been in and out of the hospital for various tests.....some results good- some not so good- all the while trying to get back on track and find a happy median.....
On the upside- I'm losing weight....slowly but surely.....I'm sleeping better(ish) I still have my bad nights but at least now they are interspersed with good nights occasionally.
I'm struggling tho with a couple of things. This is going to sound very UNGODDESSlike, but I,m struggling in my relationships department. I miss the friendships I had back home terribly.
I ALWAYS had someone to talk to, someone to go and spend an hour or two- or a day- with. It was a very "Hey, I got a couple hours- wanna go shopping or just sit on the porch and have a bit of a chat?" kind of environment.
I didn't have to worry about making an appointment to see someone, we all just dropped by and if they had something planned at least I got to see them long enough for a hug and a promise to see each other again soon...and then know it was gonna happen. I don't have a huge circle of friends and loved ones here to talk to and do things with when everyone else is busy and I feel alone. And right now I feel as tho I'm being put at the end of every ones list. I'm wondering if it's something I've said- or did- but seeing as I rarely see anyone anyway, I think that's highly unlikely.
Making new friends as an adult is difficult. I've never had a LOT of people I trusted until about 15 years ago. I had been hurt so many times by people(always females) I THOUGHT were my friends I didn't trust anyone and stayed in my shell. And then- as if by magic- I happened into a time of life where I had a overflowing handful of people that weren't relatives that were really good people and who I grew to love and trust as Chosen Sisters. (I'm still not very comfortable with having guys for friends after a few incidents when I was in my late teens and early twenties- and if I do consider you a friend and you are a guy- you should feel DAMN privileged cause there are less than the fingers on one hand I feel that way about.)
So I got used to having them to chat with and do things with, and there was (and is) always my Daughter and Blood Sisters and sometimes my mom.
Now I just feel out of sorts and alone and I don't like it. It feels horrible and altho I've tried to make a few new friends, truth be told I'm picky about who I spend my precious time with and there aren't THAT many people I WANT to spend my time with. They mostly seem to damn fickle and flighty and ....well...... either tend to be boring or they are just too trashy for words and I have more respect for myself and my life than to waste time with people like that. I prefer to enjoy my time in the company of lovely, positive people who care.
Maybe it's my own fault for wanting wonderful friends. Maybe if I could lower my standards a bit I would be able to find more friends.....but if I did- wouldnt that just make my life miserable becuase I wasnt being true to myself and what I want out of- and IN- my life?
I dont want to compromise- or settle for less anymore. I've dont that before and it only ended in misery for me.
Why is it so difficult to make friends as an adult? As a child- you just walk up to someone- start talking and play together and that's it- you're friends. As an adult, it's rare to have it happen that way. There's so many things going on in each of our lives we just cant find time to cultivate new friendships.
And it's sad.
Ah well, enough being a crybaby about being lonely and such. It's on to other things. Like Laundry- and cooking Sunday dinner.
Things will work themselves out- they always do- somehow-someway.
I Am Goddess.
Sunday 19 April 2015
The Goddess Returns
I have returned to my domain.
It's been a whirlwind here in Valhalla. I've been ill, had tests done, had a hospital stay, had a dear sister-cousin pass away. It has been enough to make even the strongest Goddess question her life.
Let me explain.
In our lives, it's been said that our cousins are our first real friends. They are the ones we see and play with the most( other than our own siblings) and we learn and test our social skills on them before moving on to our neighbours and schoolmates. It's true- and I had many many, many, cousins to practice on. My Goddess-mum came from a family with 18 siblings. Yes- you read that correctly- it was NOT a typo......18...EIGHTEEN.
My parents had a relatively small family of only 5 children. Only two of the other maternal siblings had less than my Mom and Daddy. One had two- one had 4. I ended up - last count about 15 years ago- with 167 cousins altogether. yes- that is a lot of cousins. And we all loved each other very much.
Even so- you do have your special ones. The ones you really felt a connection with- the ones you knew you could tell all your secrets too and as long as it didn't involve getting THEM in hot water- they wouldn't tell- your secret was safe.
I had a few like that. Stacy, Missy,(sisters) ......Christopher Mark, Kathy, Tina(siblings), Daniel and Ricki(brother and sister).
The only ones older than me were Kathy and Daniel. And only by a year or two. I think I was a bit closer to Stacy and Missy, mainly because we got to see them a bit more often than the rest of the cousins. They were the ones that could make us laugh and always come up with a good game to play because they had as wonderful an imagination as we did. As we grew older, our lives became more busy and as we got married and starting having our own families, we saw less and less of each other until it came a time when we only got to see each other at our annual family reunion. But oh how we looked forward to those reunions. We would hug and talk and joke and kid around and it was just like we were when we were little.
Stacy and Missy became really involved in their churches and my siblings and I grew more distant from ours. Stacy even became a minister. And Missy was always in church with her. They loved to sing and they sang to the glory of the Lord every chance they got.
Late last year, Missy was diagnosed with stage 4 Cancer. I didn't have a clue. I know she and Stacy both kind of disappeared from face book about that time but as I was all the way across the world, I didn't know why. I figured it was because it was around the holidays and as we all get busy around that time of year- and with them being so church involved, they were just really busy.
Then week before last I saw Missy had posted on FB. I was thrilled and couldn't wait to have a chat with her again. But it wasn't to be. I'm not sure who- but they had posted on her FB page that Missy had passed away the night before and that she wasn't in pain anymore but was walking the streets of Heaven with the Lord. She was a few years younger than me- about my middle sisters age.
It has broken my heart. I wish I had known she was sick. It just seems like the ONLY person I got to say a proper goodbye to before they passed was my daddy. Everyone else passes and I don't get to see them or say my goodbyes. My son, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Just here one day- gone the next.
It's made me realise my own mortality. Just like I did when my daddy passed...and when my youngest son left us less than two years after that. You start thinking about what if your time is next. You start thinking about all the things you haven't done that you want to do before your time on Earth is done. You start thinking about if you passed, would anyone know what things you would want your loved ones to have to remember you by... I'm trying to give all my siblings a few things to remember me by. Sending them things I know they would love to have and would make them think about me were I not with them anymore.
I do have a very few things I want to go to specific people in my life. Just a few trinkets here and there.... Everything else would go to my loving husband. He is my world and I am his and other than a few sentimental things all my worldly possessions are intertwined with him and our lives together.
I probably need to write these things down so it's known what goes to who.
Okay- so enough about death. I need to get on with living.
So- also- I have made a new friend at work. The poor little darling is almost clueless. She can't cook, hates her in laws, and loves to talk. Even more than me- I rarely can get a word in edgewise. But she is so very sweet and a lot of fun to be around.
She has made me think about being a Goddess. Even more than I ususally do.
Even tho I am a Goddess- and I like things my way most of the time- it's not ALWAYS the BEST way.
Fellow Goddesses, I cannot stress enough that being a Goddess and having Goddess Attitude is NOT ALWAYS about getting your own way. Sometimes, you have to decide if making another person happy is more important to you or if getting your own way is more important.
You HAVE to choose your battles wisely.
Sometimes you have to indulge your mere mortals wishes. Just sit back, smile an indulgent little smile and let them have their way with no questions asked and No strings attached. Just allow them to have what THEIR heart desires. As long as it doesn't hurt your heart to allow them the happiness they are asking for- why shouldn't you? Besides, if you give in to their happiness on the things that REALLY don't mean that much to you- you will have more success in having things YOUR way when it really matters the most to YOU. Happiness and contentment really is a two way street.
So what if you really don't eat pasta.....if your Mere Mortal loves it- learn to make it for HIS happiness. If you don't like to go to Comicon- then book a spa day and tell him to go on his own or take a like minded friend with him in your place. BOTH of you will come home later that night(or weekend if it's a two day thing) and both of you will be happy and content and loving having had time to do what YOU want to do. You do NOT have to be joined at the hip all the time. You still have to have Me Time, as my lovely friend Betty Rage has said on MANY occasions!!!
It's most important to remember this one point:
Who is a Goddess if she has no one to worship her?
Give them a reason to worship you. (And to fear your wrath.)
Much Love,
It's been a whirlwind here in Valhalla. I've been ill, had tests done, had a hospital stay, had a dear sister-cousin pass away. It has been enough to make even the strongest Goddess question her life.
Let me explain.
In our lives, it's been said that our cousins are our first real friends. They are the ones we see and play with the most( other than our own siblings) and we learn and test our social skills on them before moving on to our neighbours and schoolmates. It's true- and I had many many, many, cousins to practice on. My Goddess-mum came from a family with 18 siblings. Yes- you read that correctly- it was NOT a typo......18...EIGHTEEN.
My parents had a relatively small family of only 5 children. Only two of the other maternal siblings had less than my Mom and Daddy. One had two- one had 4. I ended up - last count about 15 years ago- with 167 cousins altogether. yes- that is a lot of cousins. And we all loved each other very much.
Even so- you do have your special ones. The ones you really felt a connection with- the ones you knew you could tell all your secrets too and as long as it didn't involve getting THEM in hot water- they wouldn't tell- your secret was safe.
I had a few like that. Stacy, Missy,(sisters) ......Christopher Mark, Kathy, Tina(siblings), Daniel and Ricki(brother and sister).
The only ones older than me were Kathy and Daniel. And only by a year or two. I think I was a bit closer to Stacy and Missy, mainly because we got to see them a bit more often than the rest of the cousins. They were the ones that could make us laugh and always come up with a good game to play because they had as wonderful an imagination as we did. As we grew older, our lives became more busy and as we got married and starting having our own families, we saw less and less of each other until it came a time when we only got to see each other at our annual family reunion. But oh how we looked forward to those reunions. We would hug and talk and joke and kid around and it was just like we were when we were little.
Stacy and Missy became really involved in their churches and my siblings and I grew more distant from ours. Stacy even became a minister. And Missy was always in church with her. They loved to sing and they sang to the glory of the Lord every chance they got.
Late last year, Missy was diagnosed with stage 4 Cancer. I didn't have a clue. I know she and Stacy both kind of disappeared from face book about that time but as I was all the way across the world, I didn't know why. I figured it was because it was around the holidays and as we all get busy around that time of year- and with them being so church involved, they were just really busy.
Then week before last I saw Missy had posted on FB. I was thrilled and couldn't wait to have a chat with her again. But it wasn't to be. I'm not sure who- but they had posted on her FB page that Missy had passed away the night before and that she wasn't in pain anymore but was walking the streets of Heaven with the Lord. She was a few years younger than me- about my middle sisters age.
It has broken my heart. I wish I had known she was sick. It just seems like the ONLY person I got to say a proper goodbye to before they passed was my daddy. Everyone else passes and I don't get to see them or say my goodbyes. My son, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Just here one day- gone the next.
It's made me realise my own mortality. Just like I did when my daddy passed...and when my youngest son left us less than two years after that. You start thinking about what if your time is next. You start thinking about all the things you haven't done that you want to do before your time on Earth is done. You start thinking about if you passed, would anyone know what things you would want your loved ones to have to remember you by... I'm trying to give all my siblings a few things to remember me by. Sending them things I know they would love to have and would make them think about me were I not with them anymore.
I do have a very few things I want to go to specific people in my life. Just a few trinkets here and there.... Everything else would go to my loving husband. He is my world and I am his and other than a few sentimental things all my worldly possessions are intertwined with him and our lives together.
I probably need to write these things down so it's known what goes to who.
Okay- so enough about death. I need to get on with living.
So- also- I have made a new friend at work. The poor little darling is almost clueless. She can't cook, hates her in laws, and loves to talk. Even more than me- I rarely can get a word in edgewise. But she is so very sweet and a lot of fun to be around.
She has made me think about being a Goddess. Even more than I ususally do.
Even tho I am a Goddess- and I like things my way most of the time- it's not ALWAYS the BEST way.
Fellow Goddesses, I cannot stress enough that being a Goddess and having Goddess Attitude is NOT ALWAYS about getting your own way. Sometimes, you have to decide if making another person happy is more important to you or if getting your own way is more important.
You HAVE to choose your battles wisely.
Sometimes you have to indulge your mere mortals wishes. Just sit back, smile an indulgent little smile and let them have their way with no questions asked and No strings attached. Just allow them to have what THEIR heart desires. As long as it doesn't hurt your heart to allow them the happiness they are asking for- why shouldn't you? Besides, if you give in to their happiness on the things that REALLY don't mean that much to you- you will have more success in having things YOUR way when it really matters the most to YOU. Happiness and contentment really is a two way street.
So what if you really don't eat pasta.....if your Mere Mortal loves it- learn to make it for HIS happiness. If you don't like to go to Comicon- then book a spa day and tell him to go on his own or take a like minded friend with him in your place. BOTH of you will come home later that night(or weekend if it's a two day thing) and both of you will be happy and content and loving having had time to do what YOU want to do. You do NOT have to be joined at the hip all the time. You still have to have Me Time, as my lovely friend Betty Rage has said on MANY occasions!!!
It's most important to remember this one point:
Who is a Goddess if she has no one to worship her?
Give them a reason to worship you. (And to fear your wrath.)
Much Love,
Elena xxx
Saturday 28 February 2015
Valykrie Warning
This Goddess is in full blown Valkyrie Warrior mode.
I have a sister-friend who is being taken advantage of by a so called mate and it's really starting...no- it really IS- pissing me off in the worst sort of way.
I'm not sure I can even write about it properly I'm so fucking furious about the entire situation.
I'm not going to put in names or details, but let's just say that if you are a mate- you do NOT use them as cover for cheating and being a skanky whore. If you don't want to be with someone- you leave them and THEN find someone else- you do not run around for months using people as "cover stories" for your trashy ass bed hopping ways.
I think what's hurting me the most and making me almost- if not MORE- furious is the fact that my friend is acting like it's okay to be used that way. She smiles and acts like she's having a great time and then writes crap like "Had a fab time today- have to do it again soon!!" on her social media site.
Friends/mates/ buddies/pals/sisters do NOT treat each other with that kind of disrespectful disregard. You don't USE people who think they are your friends and keep trying to be ACTUAL friends. You do NOT take advantage and make them feel like second class citizens or worse- ignore them. Until the next time you need cover for an outing.
My friend is one of the loveliest, sweetest, most caring people I have ever known- generous to a fault- and more forgiving than she should ever be. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and tries to find the good in all people.
I'm more jaded. I've been stabbed in the back by my "mates" who , to the LETTER- treated me with the same disrespect and disregard as hers is doing now. If the mate is doing that to the person they are supposed to be in love with- don't you think its possible that at some time in the future she might decide that she has changed her mind and make a move on YOUR man with no qualms whatsoever? A cheater is a cheater- period. I don't trust a cheater....Never will. Just like the proverbial leopard, they don't change their spots.
I haven't been in a knock down drag out cat fight in so long I cant even remember, but I swear to fucking god- I'm read to lock, load, snatch some hair and beat some skank ass right now.
NOBODY treats MY Sister-Friend like that and gets by with it. Not On MY WATCH!!
Watch your back girlie... I know exactly who you are and I know some voodoo shit that will straighten your hair in all the wrong kinda ways.
Mountain Witch... Goddess... Hell On Heels BITCH- Take your pick. I've got my eyes on you and you REALLY don't want to hurt my sister anymore than you already have.
It wouldn't be good for your soul.
You have been warned.
I have a sister-friend who is being taken advantage of by a so called mate and it's really starting...no- it really IS- pissing me off in the worst sort of way.
I'm not sure I can even write about it properly I'm so fucking furious about the entire situation.
I'm not going to put in names or details, but let's just say that if you are a mate- you do NOT use them as cover for cheating and being a skanky whore. If you don't want to be with someone- you leave them and THEN find someone else- you do not run around for months using people as "cover stories" for your trashy ass bed hopping ways.
I think what's hurting me the most and making me almost- if not MORE- furious is the fact that my friend is acting like it's okay to be used that way. She smiles and acts like she's having a great time and then writes crap like "Had a fab time today- have to do it again soon!!" on her social media site.
Friends/mates/ buddies/pals/sisters do NOT treat each other with that kind of disrespectful disregard. You don't USE people who think they are your friends and keep trying to be ACTUAL friends. You do NOT take advantage and make them feel like second class citizens or worse- ignore them. Until the next time you need cover for an outing.
My friend is one of the loveliest, sweetest, most caring people I have ever known- generous to a fault- and more forgiving than she should ever be. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and tries to find the good in all people.
I'm more jaded. I've been stabbed in the back by my "mates" who , to the LETTER- treated me with the same disrespect and disregard as hers is doing now. If the mate is doing that to the person they are supposed to be in love with- don't you think its possible that at some time in the future she might decide that she has changed her mind and make a move on YOUR man with no qualms whatsoever? A cheater is a cheater- period. I don't trust a cheater....Never will. Just like the proverbial leopard, they don't change their spots.
I haven't been in a knock down drag out cat fight in so long I cant even remember, but I swear to fucking god- I'm read to lock, load, snatch some hair and beat some skank ass right now.
NOBODY treats MY Sister-Friend like that and gets by with it. Not On MY WATCH!!
Watch your back girlie... I know exactly who you are and I know some voodoo shit that will straighten your hair in all the wrong kinda ways.
Mountain Witch... Goddess... Hell On Heels BITCH- Take your pick. I've got my eyes on you and you REALLY don't want to hurt my sister anymore than you already have.
It wouldn't be good for your soul.
You have been warned.
Saturday 7 February 2015
Whinging......and asking Forgiveness.
Well, today I'm going to be a bit of a crybaby and have a huge massive whinge.....and hope I don't upset anyone.- Mainly my bezzie.
Yesterday was an absolutely horrendous day for me. I came into the office with the remnants of the 4 day migraine still drilling holes in my head. So I get in, make myself a coffee and take more tablets for it.
As the morning wears on, more and more people come in and as they do, my irritation grows and grows and grows.
We have a copier that is noisy as hell sitting almost right beside my desk. The stupid repairman- last time he was in two weeks ago- left not only his screwdriver lying in the desk beside the copier- but TWO SCREWS too!....Now I don't know about y'all- but where I come from, extra parts being left over when you put something back together is NOT a good thing. And ever since then, the copier has sounded like a damn Mina bird every time each and every single sheet of paper has come thru it. Drives us to distraction. Like a faucet dripping constantly. This has to be some form of cruel and inhuman punishment and against the law, right?
Next on the list is the girl that sits behind me. I think she's from Poland or Romania or somewhere and let me tell you- she beats the HELL out of her keyboard on her computer. OMG- seriously, She hits those keys like she is trying to kill Freddy Kruger with a shovel. Every single day I have to sit there and force myself to not turn around and ask her is she mad at it or ask her what in the world did it do to her to deserve that kind of treatment?!!!
Now, also- speaking of LOUD, I have a loud talker who sits beside me. I don't know if it's because he has hearing problems himself or if he just wants/likes the attention but this guy talks at the decibel level of a chainsaw running at full speed. It drives me to insanity. And the worst part is he repeats himself at least 4 times EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION he has on the phone. This is an open office plan too- so asking to be moved to another desk wont solve the problem. Neither will asking him to take it down a notch or two because he does- for about 2 minutes and then it's back to full volume again. And both he AND the office mate on the other side of my desk are space infringers. We each have the same size desks. But for some unknown reasons, they have to inch their papers/phones/ calculators onto MY desk space and get in my way of doing MY work. And they both also tend to have little mini meetings with their "people" and then their people drop THEIR stuff on my desk or worse- lean or sit in the corner of it. OMG- I cant stress how much THAT infuriates me!!! And yes- I have told them they need to move their asses when they do that. Disgusting.
And speaking of disgusting, The loud talker has a habit of making himself a cup o soup at 10:15 on the dot. I don't know what kind of soup it is but it makes me want to heave. I'm talking garbage bin bag after 2 weeks kind of smell. Nuff said about that.
We also have the giggling school-girls. Two of them sit over in the corner and chat back and forth and then howl in laughter...or have long drawn out giggle fests. I don't have a THING against having a bit of a chat and a giggle and making light - it makes the day go so much faster, but quietly.....other people quite possibly have work that needs to get done and find that sort of thing REALLY distracting!!
And then I went to do my printing- and even tho I went downstairs and got printer paper and filled the printers up when I first got there in the morning- the copier was empty. |And as I was there there was two people walking up opening up the paper drawers to steal paper from it for scratch paper. I let them all have an earful. Lazy asses cant be bothered to go across the hall to get a notepad for their scratch paper- no they have to come steal copier paper out of the copier when we are low on it in the supply room anyway. There is NO excuse for it- at all.
Then just as I thought my day couldn't get any worse, I was texting with my bezzie and asked her was we still on for our outing on my birthday? I said if she couldn't it was okay, I just needed to know in case I needed to make alternate plans.....and I really actually thought that was the case.
But I was kidding myself.
We went to the fashion show together a few months ago- the only real girl-time we have been able to spend together since she moved away. We had to cancel Thanksgiving dinner together because I had just come out of a week long stay in the hospital for an intestinal problem and I was on doctors orders to stay in and stay pretty much in bed to recuperate. That about killed me- not being able to do our Dinner because we had both planned for MONTHS. Well, we then decided to spend a girly day together on My Birthday end of this month., do some shopping, maybe have our nails done or hair- a lovely lunch somewhere nice- just me and my Bezzie.
And then she texted and said she couldn't get the day off from work.
I sat there at my desk and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't believe how disappointed I was. I tried to shake it off as just one of those things...but after a half hour of trying to hold it back- I went to the ladies and cried.
And then I cried some more. And then I cried again when I got home.
I know things happen to change plans....Of ALL people I certainly know that. But apparently, I was looking forward to it much more than I thought I was. I'm sorry- I know she will read this and I know she will prob feel bad and I don't want her to feel bad about it because it certainly isn't her fault.
On the other hand, I do want her to know that she really is my Bezzie and she always will be. I love spending time with her and the time we do get to spend together is even more precious to me now since we live so far apart. So forgive me, Li......I had to get it out of my system.
But now I have to buck up and get back to it. It's the weekend- and I don't have think about the crap at the office.
And there certainly will be other Goddess Days for me and my Bezzie.
Patience is a Virtue....so I've heard.
Yesterday was an absolutely horrendous day for me. I came into the office with the remnants of the 4 day migraine still drilling holes in my head. So I get in, make myself a coffee and take more tablets for it.
As the morning wears on, more and more people come in and as they do, my irritation grows and grows and grows.
We have a copier that is noisy as hell sitting almost right beside my desk. The stupid repairman- last time he was in two weeks ago- left not only his screwdriver lying in the desk beside the copier- but TWO SCREWS too!....Now I don't know about y'all- but where I come from, extra parts being left over when you put something back together is NOT a good thing. And ever since then, the copier has sounded like a damn Mina bird every time each and every single sheet of paper has come thru it. Drives us to distraction. Like a faucet dripping constantly. This has to be some form of cruel and inhuman punishment and against the law, right?
Next on the list is the girl that sits behind me. I think she's from Poland or Romania or somewhere and let me tell you- she beats the HELL out of her keyboard on her computer. OMG- seriously, She hits those keys like she is trying to kill Freddy Kruger with a shovel. Every single day I have to sit there and force myself to not turn around and ask her is she mad at it or ask her what in the world did it do to her to deserve that kind of treatment?!!!
Now, also- speaking of LOUD, I have a loud talker who sits beside me. I don't know if it's because he has hearing problems himself or if he just wants/likes the attention but this guy talks at the decibel level of a chainsaw running at full speed. It drives me to insanity. And the worst part is he repeats himself at least 4 times EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION he has on the phone. This is an open office plan too- so asking to be moved to another desk wont solve the problem. Neither will asking him to take it down a notch or two because he does- for about 2 minutes and then it's back to full volume again. And both he AND the office mate on the other side of my desk are space infringers. We each have the same size desks. But for some unknown reasons, they have to inch their papers/phones/ calculators onto MY desk space and get in my way of doing MY work. And they both also tend to have little mini meetings with their "people" and then their people drop THEIR stuff on my desk or worse- lean or sit in the corner of it. OMG- I cant stress how much THAT infuriates me!!! And yes- I have told them they need to move their asses when they do that. Disgusting.
And speaking of disgusting, The loud talker has a habit of making himself a cup o soup at 10:15 on the dot. I don't know what kind of soup it is but it makes me want to heave. I'm talking garbage bin bag after 2 weeks kind of smell. Nuff said about that.
We also have the giggling school-girls. Two of them sit over in the corner and chat back and forth and then howl in laughter...or have long drawn out giggle fests. I don't have a THING against having a bit of a chat and a giggle and making light - it makes the day go so much faster, but quietly.....other people quite possibly have work that needs to get done and find that sort of thing REALLY distracting!!
And then I went to do my printing- and even tho I went downstairs and got printer paper and filled the printers up when I first got there in the morning- the copier was empty. |And as I was there there was two people walking up opening up the paper drawers to steal paper from it for scratch paper. I let them all have an earful. Lazy asses cant be bothered to go across the hall to get a notepad for their scratch paper- no they have to come steal copier paper out of the copier when we are low on it in the supply room anyway. There is NO excuse for it- at all.
Then just as I thought my day couldn't get any worse, I was texting with my bezzie and asked her was we still on for our outing on my birthday? I said if she couldn't it was okay, I just needed to know in case I needed to make alternate plans.....and I really actually thought that was the case.
But I was kidding myself.
We went to the fashion show together a few months ago- the only real girl-time we have been able to spend together since she moved away. We had to cancel Thanksgiving dinner together because I had just come out of a week long stay in the hospital for an intestinal problem and I was on doctors orders to stay in and stay pretty much in bed to recuperate. That about killed me- not being able to do our Dinner because we had both planned for MONTHS. Well, we then decided to spend a girly day together on My Birthday end of this month., do some shopping, maybe have our nails done or hair- a lovely lunch somewhere nice- just me and my Bezzie.
And then she texted and said she couldn't get the day off from work.
I sat there at my desk and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't believe how disappointed I was. I tried to shake it off as just one of those things...but after a half hour of trying to hold it back- I went to the ladies and cried.
And then I cried some more. And then I cried again when I got home.
I know things happen to change plans....Of ALL people I certainly know that. But apparently, I was looking forward to it much more than I thought I was. I'm sorry- I know she will read this and I know she will prob feel bad and I don't want her to feel bad about it because it certainly isn't her fault.
On the other hand, I do want her to know that she really is my Bezzie and she always will be. I love spending time with her and the time we do get to spend together is even more precious to me now since we live so far apart. So forgive me, Li......I had to get it out of my system.
But now I have to buck up and get back to it. It's the weekend- and I don't have think about the crap at the office.
And there certainly will be other Goddess Days for me and my Bezzie.
Patience is a Virtue....so I've heard.
Sunday 1 February 2015
On Plural Marriages and Goddessness
I've been watching My 4 Wives this evening as is my Sunday Evening Ritual. I LOVE that show. It truly fascinates me.
I'm not one of the women who could embrace that lifestyle- but there are parts of it that certainly sound appealing. The sister-wives, for example. I mean imagine having your sister wives to share the household duties with.....the cooking, the cleaning, the responsibilities of the kids......Having shoulders to lean on who understand what you are going thru from a woman point of view. I mean yes- that's what a husband should do- but can any man TRULY understand that you have PMS and you just cant face anything? No- he really cant.
On the other hand, if you don't like the sister wives it could be the worst manner of hell too. Never being able to trust your kids will be taken care of when they are with one of the other mothers.....
among other things.
I'm much to much of a Queen Bee to allow my man to be with another woman with my blessing. If my husband came in and seriously wanted to discuss having a plural marriage- I would pack my bags and walk out. I don't DO sharing. Certainly not in THAT area of my life. I believe in One Man, One Woman, One Marriage. I think spouses should put each other above all others- in all cases. I believe in spending your nights together- I believe in going out together(occasionally having a girls or guys night out) but under NO circumstances should either be out and about with someone of the opposite sex without the other unless the other is a blood relative. It's just what I believe.
3M doesn't believe in the no exceptions part of it- and I have to concede that there are a VERY FEW circumstances where it would be not objected to- but for the most part- it just isn't negotiable for me.
What's the wording in the wedding vows?....forsaking all others? I truly believe that with all my heart and soul.
And I believe I deserve it and refuse to accept anything less. Same goes for my husband. I don't do anything I wouldn't want him doing.
Sometimes you gotta fight for what you believe in.
I'm not one of the women who could embrace that lifestyle- but there are parts of it that certainly sound appealing. The sister-wives, for example. I mean imagine having your sister wives to share the household duties with.....the cooking, the cleaning, the responsibilities of the kids......Having shoulders to lean on who understand what you are going thru from a woman point of view. I mean yes- that's what a husband should do- but can any man TRULY understand that you have PMS and you just cant face anything? No- he really cant.
On the other hand, if you don't like the sister wives it could be the worst manner of hell too. Never being able to trust your kids will be taken care of when they are with one of the other mothers.....
among other things.
I'm much to much of a Queen Bee to allow my man to be with another woman with my blessing. If my husband came in and seriously wanted to discuss having a plural marriage- I would pack my bags and walk out. I don't DO sharing. Certainly not in THAT area of my life. I believe in One Man, One Woman, One Marriage. I think spouses should put each other above all others- in all cases. I believe in spending your nights together- I believe in going out together(occasionally having a girls or guys night out) but under NO circumstances should either be out and about with someone of the opposite sex without the other unless the other is a blood relative. It's just what I believe.
3M doesn't believe in the no exceptions part of it- and I have to concede that there are a VERY FEW circumstances where it would be not objected to- but for the most part- it just isn't negotiable for me.
What's the wording in the wedding vows?....forsaking all others? I truly believe that with all my heart and soul.
And I believe I deserve it and refuse to accept anything less. Same goes for my husband. I don't do anything I wouldn't want him doing.
Sometimes you gotta fight for what you believe in.
Sunday 25 January 2015
2015
Well, I took a bt of a hiatus from blogging for a few weeks. Occasionally I have to do that or I get really bored and get writers block for months.
So- this past month I've been working on getting a few pounds lost. Not that it's worked, but I've learned what DOESNT work.
So, now that I'm back on track with that. I'm going to be posting a bit more on here.
I've ordered a couple of new outfits....I feel like I need to get back into Goddess mode again. I'm pretty much healed as much as I'm going to be from my broken foot a year and a half ago- so I'm ready to start donning some heels again. I'll never be able to wear proper 4-5 inch stilettos again, but I think I can manage some 2.5-3 inchers quite easily if I'm extremely cautious.
So one of my Bezzies ....(I have two- a lifelong Goddess Sister who has been thru hell and back with me and quite literally SAVED MY LIFE- and a Goddess Sister I met just over a year ago who felt like my soul-sister the moment I looked into those gorgeous green eyes of hers. Hmmm..I just realized a funny thing. Both my Bezzies have the same color eyes but other than that they are absolute & total opposites)....anyway, I digress....so the Goddess Sister I'm speaking of now wears stilettos(5-6 inchers) practically EVERY...SINGLE....DAY. On the rare day she might go really casual and wear her cowboy boots and jeans, but usually she is dressed to the nines. She dresses for Success with a Capital S. She totally IS the astute glamourous business woman and you can tell it in a glance. Even when she dresses down she's STILL glamourous. No kidding- I always feels like I'm the country mouse when I'm around her. And that's perfectly fine. She makes me WANT to dress better. She wears makeup every single day. I think she dons the warpaint even when she's ill with the flu!!! How Glam is that?
Im glad she inspires me to work a bit harder at taking cake of myself.
Life is good.
So- this past month I've been working on getting a few pounds lost. Not that it's worked, but I've learned what DOESNT work.
So, now that I'm back on track with that. I'm going to be posting a bit more on here.
I've ordered a couple of new outfits....I feel like I need to get back into Goddess mode again. I'm pretty much healed as much as I'm going to be from my broken foot a year and a half ago- so I'm ready to start donning some heels again. I'll never be able to wear proper 4-5 inch stilettos again, but I think I can manage some 2.5-3 inchers quite easily if I'm extremely cautious.
So one of my Bezzies ....(I have two- a lifelong Goddess Sister who has been thru hell and back with me and quite literally SAVED MY LIFE- and a Goddess Sister I met just over a year ago who felt like my soul-sister the moment I looked into those gorgeous green eyes of hers. Hmmm..I just realized a funny thing. Both my Bezzies have the same color eyes but other than that they are absolute & total opposites)....anyway, I digress....so the Goddess Sister I'm speaking of now wears stilettos(5-6 inchers) practically EVERY...SINGLE....DAY. On the rare day she might go really casual and wear her cowboy boots and jeans, but usually she is dressed to the nines. She dresses for Success with a Capital S. She totally IS the astute glamourous business woman and you can tell it in a glance. Even when she dresses down she's STILL glamourous. No kidding- I always feels like I'm the country mouse when I'm around her. And that's perfectly fine. She makes me WANT to dress better. She wears makeup every single day. I think she dons the warpaint even when she's ill with the flu!!! How Glam is that?
Im glad she inspires me to work a bit harder at taking cake of myself.
Life is good.
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