In Remembrance of My Hero.....My Dad

…I remember when my Dad would let me ‘ride’ on the steering wheel of the old truck we had when I was about 1 ½

…I remember when I thought the best thing ever was standing next to my Dad with my arm around his neck as he spun his tires in the sand driveway.

…I remember my Dad taking us to the Shell station on White Horse road and getting to choose any candy we wanted from the HUGE glass display case.

…I remember my Dad taking us camping in the Pisgah Forest in North Carolina and teaching me to fly-fish even though I was only 7 and a girl.

….I remember making my Dad fudge and him smiling as he took it and asking “And what do you want, now?” I also remember him taking the fudge to his office and locking it in his filing cabinet so he didn’t have to share and could enjoy it in peace and quiet.

…I remember my Dad teaching me to drive a manual transmission car. I remember him telling me that when you slow down to make a turn, you shift down. I remember trashing a transmission (trying to get home before curfew) when I shifted down to first gear and popped the clutch going 40mph because Dad assumed I was smart enough to realise you had to be going slow to do that. I also remember him not laughing at me while we towed the car home at 4am

…I remember Dad walking me down the aisle when I got married. He was trembling more than I was. Now I know why.

…I remember Dad helping me rebuild my car when it was totalled a few years back. I had just put close to $2000 in a motor for it the week before and couldn’t afford to buy a new one, even with the coverage from insurance.

…I remember Dad handing me his hanky when I cried from everything from breakups to bad grades to skinned knees.

…I remember Dad always seemed larger than life - He was always my Hero.

My Hero is gone.
My Dad passed away, losing an eight year battle with Cancer in 2005.

The thing is, my daddy liked to laugh and have fun. He had a wicked sense of humour and I have-believe it or not- two stories (which I will combine)from the funeral that will hopefully bring a smile to you -as they did to us-and I think he would have too.

We had the funeral service- which was beautiful- and every one was understandably upset. The music did not help with easing the pain- the song selection was as follows...Amazing Grace,Long Black Train,Imagine...then the sermon, then two more songs.....Wind Beneath My Wings, and Angel by Sara McLaughlin.
After the sermon and music we were off to the cemetery. We were still upset- taking turns crying and trying to comfort each other when we weren't the one crying. Well, when we got to the cemetery the first family car veered off the road that led directly to the site and went towards the office. We waited about 10 minutes for them to finally come from the office. We laughed and said we bet someone had to go potty and how Daddy would have hated that. We told our Aunts who were with us that when we went on a trip with Daddy- as soon as the urge hit you had better say something, because it would be at least a hundred miles MORE before Daddy would actually pull over for us to go. NO JOKE.
Then we had the service at the grave site- they had three Navy personnel there- two to present the flag to Mom, and one to play Taps- which was hauntingly beautiful.
Then we all got back in the family cars and began the ride home. Suddenly the lead car pulled into a convenience store and two of the members in it rushed into the store. I commented that moms blood sugar must have dropped and they were getting her something to try and raise it til we got home(Mom is diabetic and that was exactly what had happened we learned later). But sitting in the parking lot I suddenly had a picture of Jeff Foxworthy in front of an audience saying......"You might be a redneck.... if you pull into the convenience store in the family car for a Pepsi and a candy-bar after a funeral".......

And we all laughed. And it felt good. And I think if Daddy was there he would have laughed at BOTH those things.

The morning my daddy passed, he had a really good day. I was getting ready to start work at a new site, but had requested a few days between leaving the old one and starting on the new one. I wanted a few days to spend with my parents, helping mama and just spending some time with my daddy.

I had went up to their house after breakfast that morning( husband and I lived in the guest-house on the back side of the property) and Dad was having a REALLY good day. He wasn't in so much pain, he was bright eyed and talkative. We had his bed set up in the living room positioned so he could look out the big bay windows onto the front yard and the street in front of it. The sun was shining- it was that period of time in between late summer and early Autumn when it was just perfectly lovely outside. Mom wanted to have a nap- so I told her to go ahead and I would be happy to stay in there and visit with my daddy. So she went to nap an hour or so and I climbed up on the bed with my daddy and laid my head on his shoulder and held his hand. I asked him all the things I had every wanted to know from his point of view. I asked how he and mom met. And how he proposed to her. I asked  what he remembered about me being born and as a baby. I asked him if he thought I had done well, or if he hoped I would have done better... And I told him all the main things I remembered about him as standing out when I was growing up.

It was a good day.

After a while, mom got up and dad told me to go home and get some rest as I had worked the night before. I suspect he was tired from our talking too, but the other kids were due to come over a little later and he wanted to rest a bit before they got there so they could have a good visit too.

So I hugged him, and kissed his cheek and told him he was the best daddy EVER and I went to my house. A couple of hours later my baby brother called and said they had called the nurse- daddy was leaving us.

I went up there. the nurse was there and she said it was just a matter of time- to say what we needed or wanted to say.

Mom and the other kids were crowded around his bed,  tears streaming down their faces, and my daddy, my sweet, hardworking hero, looked around at us, then gazed off into the distance and said, "It's so beautiful...." as his eyes closed the final time.

I was standing in the doorway with my husbands arms wrapped around me. I had had my time with my daddy, I didn't need to say anything more.  I just watched as my daddy slipped from this world to the next.

My heart will always carry that memory with me. 
 And now comes the hard part- learning to live without him.